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Loud Talkers, Quiet Experts, …and the Rest of Us
Corporate confidence is weird.
Some people get it just for talking over everyone. Others second-guess themselves despite being the most prepared person in the room.
If you're waiting to feel confident before you speak up, ask for a raise, or correct someone’s wildly wrong assumption in a meeting… you might be waiting forever.
So let’s talk about what confidence actually looks like — especially for the ones who learned to shrink first, then speak.
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Toolbox Reframes: Because You Can Be Direct and Employed
Confidence ≠ pretending to know everything.
Confidence = speaking without self-disqualifying.
❌ Instead of: "I just wanted to add…”
✅ Try: “To build on that…” or “One thing I’d highlight is…”
Why? "Just" minimizes you before you’ve even said anything.
❌ Instead of: "This might be a dumb question…”
✅ Try: “Can we clarify this part to make sure I’m tracking?”
Why? Because confusion isn’t a crime….You’re asking for clarity. That’s it.
❌ Instead of: "I’m not an expert, but…”
✅ Try: “From where I sit…” or “In my experience working on X…”
Why? You have context/experience. That counts.
❌ Instead of: “Does that make sense?”
✅ Try: “Let me know if anything needs clarification.”
Why? The first one implies you’re the confusing part.
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Unsustainable Behavior of the Week
Because these things need to be put out in the open…
Started your email draft strong:
“Here’s what I propose for the rollout…”
By the time you hit send, it read:
“This might be totally off-base and happy to go with whatever — just thinking out loud — let me know if not! :)”
Your inbox tone is… polite.
Your confidence? was probably last seen in the trash folder.
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One to Think About
A short, sharp insight to carry through your day.
Who benefits when you make yourself smaller before you speak?
And what would happen if you stopped trying to manage how your confidence lands… and focused on how it feels?
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Nervous System Break
A quick reset for your overworked brain.
A mini-reset for the part of you that still needs proof before speaking up.
Say this to yourself (I swear we are not trying to be profound here…just trying to interrupt the spiral):
“I’m here to contribute...I’m not here to impress”
“I don’t need to shrink to sound thoughtful.”
“It’s okay to take up the space I’ve earned.”
You don’t need to feel ready… but don’t just disappear.
Reply All (Just Kidding, Just to Me)
This will always be a space to share stories, rants, and reflections.
What’s one time confidence felt expensive…or surprisingly worth it?
Hit reply — We may share your story (anonymously) so others know they are not alone.
Have a “Unsustainable Behavior of the Week” ? Let us know.
Until Next Time!
May your ideas get the credit they deserve (and your Slack tone finally be understood).
P.S.
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