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Not Just Me, Right?…On Boundary Guilt
I used to think burnout came from working too hard.
Turns out, for me, it came from saying yes too much.
Not because I wanted to. But because every time I tried to set a boundary, I heard this little voice in my head:
“They probably will think you are a terrible person for saying no.”
So I became the “yes person.” Yes to extra projects. Yes to late-night fire drills. Yes to “can you just take a quick look at this?” Slack pings.
The guilt felt heavier than the ACTUAL work.
Guilt is weird like that. It will mask it’s self as “team spirit” or “being dependable.” But most of the time, it’s just your nervous system mistaking over-functioning for safety.
Boundaries are about being sustainable in your every day life (see what I did there). And if your workplace can’t handle them? That may be a sign of something deeper that I’ll address in another newsletter.
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Toolbox for the Sick & Tired
How to say no without spiraling into guilt:
Swap “No” for “Here’s What I Can Do.”
Name the Tradeoff.
Anchor in Care.
Boundaries help build trust. Specifically it clarifies it.
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A Sanctioned Scroll Break
A guilt-free internet detour that sparks joy instead of doom.
Need something ridiculous (but way better than doomscrolling)?
👉 The Useless Web : one click, and you’ll land on a random corner of the internet you definitely didn’t know existed.
Warning: Absolutely zero ROI, but weirdly satisfying.
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Unsustainable Behavior of the Week
Because these things need to be put out in the open…
“My manager told me to ‘set boundaries,’ so I did. Then in my review, they wrote: ‘Not always a team player.’ Cool, cool, cool. Glad we are aligned.”
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One to Think About
A short, sharp insight to carry through your day.
When a workplace punishes boundaries self-sacrifice becomes the unspoken job requirement.
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Nervous System Break
A quick reset for your overworked brain.
Next time guilt creeps in after you say no, try this:
Put your hand on your chest, take one deep breath, and literally say out loud:
“I’m allowed to have my limits”
Sounds corny. Works anyway. We can argue about it.
Reply All (Just Kidding, Just to Me)
This will always be a space to share stories, rants, and reflections.
What’s the guiltiest “no” you’ve ever said at work? Or the “yes” you regret most? Hit reply! Also looking to engage with others so we know we are not alone.
Have a “Unstainable Behavior of the Week” ? Let us know.
Until Next Time!
May your next email actually find you well.
P.S.
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